Yoga Mat
My faithful friend of 10+ years
Almost daily visited
We had a courtship/dating phase:
I learned from other teachers
When I first started on the yoga mat
I could barely touch my knees
Reaching aggressively for my toes
Forcing & striving
Mind wandering with each asana
There only for the workout
Feel the burn
At the end
Twitching & itching in corpse
But, for a brief moment
A wash of peace
Sometimes tears
Rolled up my mat
Feeling lighter somehow
Unexpected peace
Then a serious relationship formed
I taught classes, numerous classes
When I was first asked to teach
I thought, sure, why not?
Never in a small way
I went all out
Teaching up to 10 classes per week
Mostly gyms
Teaching & doing
No adjustments (for students)
My own style grown into
Focus on fitness
Spirit left behind
Striving Stretching
Burnt out
Rarely challenged
Mind busy with the next move
Reminding students
To reach
To relax
To Breath
Started to smile
To feel
To enjoy
Too many classes
Never feeling good enough
No home practice,
No yoga just for me
Struggle
Gradually quit
Felt like a part of me was dying
If I am not a yoga teacher
WHO AM I?!
And now,
My mat is there, patiently waiting for me to return
I see it briefly, infrequently
A few breaths in a couple of poses
Center
Struggling to be ok with the bit that I do get
What about the hours a day I used to do?
I could do all of the poses well, gracefully
Now, I am tight in different places
Weaker in others
My arms are for holding a babe now
Not for holding plank
My spine cries out for attention
I try to incorporate yoga into my everyday now
Reminding myself to
Just Breathe
Notice what my body feels
A change
Growth
